Welcome my brave fellow healers, welcome to this journey inwards to the depth of your being and to a place where your hidden treasures lie.
These treasures are waiting for you to seek them out and place them on your wounds and heal the hurt you have been carrying with you for so long.
Before we go further here is my story……..
I am a British Pakistani woman approaching middle age, I was born in the UK to an immigrant family.
My childhood was a mixed bag of sorrows and hurt, I want to believe I was loved because if I wasn’t my journey wouldn’t go back home, yes go back to the love I so long ago left behind.
You see this path of healing isn’t just yours it’s also mine.
I have been held hostage by the fire of anger and the lava of resentment has flowed through my veins burning all love and compassion.
This destruction has left a fertile land in its path, I want to cultivate the flowers of healing now.
Becoming a Mother:
On the birth of my daughter I promised myself, never to become the mother I had.
This has been my life for the past 18 years, day in day out hating and resenting my mother.
Letting the anger within overcome me and stopping my hurting heart from healing.
Stuck in this vicious cycle the little girl within me, the one who I had resented for so long wanted to be mothered, she wanted to be loved and she wanted to go back to her mum.
I wasn’t allowing her to go. I wanted her all to myself, she was my partner in crime, she was the only one who would listen to me when I would moan and complain about my mum.
This little girl was keeping me hostage and I was keeping her hostage.
On one very ordinary day I decided to open the cell door and let her out, just like that, no fanfare no lightning strikes. I wanted her to go her way and let me go back home.
To the warmth of my mother’s hug, to the warmth of her hands on my face.
I decided to move out of my own way and let love takes it course.
I had read somewhere by forgiven others you are not letting them free you are letting yourself free and that is exactly what I had decided to do.
I had enough of breathing from a place of suffocation, I chose to let go because I wanted to live my life fully. I wanted to be loved and feel loved.
It’s a new start and unfamiliar territory, I am looking forward to the adventure.
You may think I am all “healed up” I am far from it, I have only taken the first step towards my healing, I have decided to stop standing in my own way and let life take me where I belong.
I invite you to join me in taking your first steps too, let your lights guide you out of the darkness and into your life.
We are all different, each one of us in our individual magical being is unique and our healing is unique too.
We all deserve love and remember this you are in this life to be loved and to love others.
Sometimes the journey we believe hardest to go on has already been planned for us, the path awaits us.
Love and light