The unique relationship of fire and water has been since the beginning of time. These both elements are each others eternal companions, both being invaluable to each others existence, both the death to each other. They have lived side by side for eons and will continue until the end of time.

I have also been a part of this relationship, these elements of nature have been within me since the start of my own existence. They formed me, moulded my being and made me who I am today. They both have been like the DNA which is my beings core. My being created by two people who are very much a big part of my life. They both are like fire and water, forever trying to extinguish each other. My being is a lovechild of love and hate coming together to create a unique person. A person who both lives with fear and fight, my constant battle with this ongoing internal struggle is what makes me churn out the energy which makes me well me. Like a dying star becomes a supernova giving up all its pent up power to the darkness around it, I also give up my energy to the beings around me. My being was formed out of not love but compulsion and I have lived with this my whole life.

Like a blind person in a village full of seeing people I have been living in my own darkness. My eyes were blind but they would burn through who ever they set themselves on. They were so searing they had to be put down by the water of fear. I was the person who would be burn the whole village if the fire wasn’t put out within me. The villagers decided to put my fire out by dousing me with fear. This fear was so all consuming it got absorbed into my lifeblood. It penetrated my veins and there it stayed, it channelled through my heart, my brain my being and everywhere it went it left its toxicity behind. Fading away my fire. Little did the fear know it will become my best friend. When my fire was all but out, it flared up and took over the fear with an enormous shout, I AM NOT GOING OUT. I will survive.

Today I live with both the fire and the fear within me. Without these two elements I wouldn’t exist, so they both are my friends. They both fight together and they fight against each other and their nuclear reactions turn the wheels of my being.

Have you ever felt two life forces within you? What compels you to keep going? When you are about to burn out what makes you flare up again?

Until next time